Chicken Noodle Soup

Hey Kid,

This Friday Dav came home early with the beginnings of a bad cold. He doesn't like store bought cans of chicken soup (I do) so I told him I'd try to make a homemade batch, which I've never done before.

The recipe I used was pretty simple, but it took around two hours to make from start to finish, starting with a whole raw chicken. As I made it I was thinking of you, I was imagining one winter day making homemade chicken noodle soup for you, with the flu creeping up on you. I don't know if you'll know that that's special, that not all moms do that, and you might even hate it, maybe start associating it with being sick. And maybe it won't be special to me by then, maybe it'll just be the chore I choose to do. But this was my first time, and from start to finish I put my love in it for Dav, and a little bit in it for you, and it tasted wonderful.

I'm really looking forward to being able to be the kind of mom who makes you soup, and chocolate chip cookies (the way my mom used to at the start of every school year), and takes you to the botanical gardens to look at flowers and trees and herbs. I'm looking forward to taking you out to see the Geminids fall through the night sky, making picnics to eat in the park, and giving you the books I read when I was your age.

I know that if I do all of this that it won't seem like much to you, it'll just seem obvious, the thing moms are supposed to do. But I hope this record of this one moment when it wasn't obvious will somehow show you that these things come out of love I have for you years before I even know you. I desire to do these things for you, to be this kind of mom for you. These dreams are deeply precious to me, and I'm trying to teach myself to make them real for you, even now.

It's not pathetic. My life is more than living for the future, or living for you.

I just love you, right now, is all,



C.